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Over the past week our family has been struck by some kind of debilitating virus. Granddaughter first, swiftly followed by my wife, daughter 1, me and daughter 3’s


boyfriend. Daughter 3 seems to have escaped, but she has been on antibiotics and daughter 2 lives away and although she’s been ill we have no control group there to run the experiment.

The symptoms

With all of us it has lasted different lengths of time between 36 and 54 hours. The virus itself has put us all in bed with restless sleep and varying aches and pains effecting the stomach, bowel, head and kidneys.

After doing your time you appear to get back to normality very quickly.

So how can a virus be sexist?

Well, with an avoidance of sharing too many um… more um… gorey unnecessary details, use your imagination with the word ‘toilet’ and ‘bowl’, but not as in ‘toilet bowl’. Oh, and anyone imagining anything with regard to a physical act involving any of the above mentioned will be labeled a pervert and sent to the naughty step of hell.

The reason the virus is sexist is because when infecting the female members of the family the poor person involved was obliged to visit the ‘toilet’ and ‘bowl’ on numerous occasions whereas their male counterparts had a completely opposite effect to the extent when visiting the ‘toilet’ it was impossible to ‘visit the toilet’ and there was a complete absence of the necessity to ‘visit the bowl.’

And what’s more the virus didn’t stop there, it’s ageist as well!

Also the 1-year-old toddler who deftly tip-toed his way through and between this virus has remained immune, whether this was because of his young years AND because he is male, who can say.

So why invent a 2 strain virus?

Maybe some higher being decided, when concocting this virus, that men being the weaker sex and prone to serious bouts of ‘man flu’ made it this way believing that only a female frame could sustain the intensity of the virus, I can only guess.

Big rally

We are all well again now, but keep an eye out for this sexist and ageist virus. Maybe it’s time we organised a rally in the name of equality against this obvious unequal parity in the world of symptoms.